Gratitude Makes Us Happy

Heather Mock, Associate Head of School/K-8 Director
How can we combat this materialism and promote empathy?  We can talk to our kids about gratitude.  A lot.  While it feels contrived at first, the more we get comfortable with expressing gratitude, the more genuine it is, and the better we feel.  As it turns out, the act of feeling and showing gratitude actually increases levels of oxytocin in our bodies.  Oxytocin is a powerful brain chemical that essentially makes us feel good.  And when we feel good when doing something, we want to do that thing again.
 
Hello everyone,
 
I hope you had a wonderful break and that you are ready for the craziness of the next few weeks.  We have a lot going on at school with concerts, projects, and field trips.  I hope to see many of you at the DPA Holiday Coffee and Market on Friday.  It’s always a fun and festive event with lots of opportunities for holiday shopping!
 
Speaking of shopping, this time period can be crazy with its focus on materialism.  Apparently, sales on Cyber Monday reached three billion dollars!  And hopefully, most of the shopping is for giving to others, but it is certainly easy to get wrapped up in thoughts about all of the things we want (and feel we need).  And if we get wrapped up in this, surely our kids do as well.
 
So how can we combat this materialism and promote empathy?  We can talk to our kids about gratitude.  A lot.  While it feels contrived at first, the more we get comfortable with expressing gratitude, the more genuine it is, and the better we feel.  As it turns out, the act of feeling and showing gratitude actually increases levels of oxytocin in our bodies.  Oxytocin is a powerful brain chemical that essentially makes us feel good.  And when we feel good when doing something, we want to do that thing again.
 
I remember when I was first teaching, I went to a workshop on how to teach teambuilding and increase social and emotional well-being in the classroom.  The teachers were the students in the activities, going through problem-solving exercises together and debriefing afterwards.  The final component of the exercises was always appreciations – we were supposed to note how our fellow teammates contributed positively to the activity.  The first time we did it, many of us noted that it felt contrived and somewhat uncomfortable.  The instructor said, “Of course it fees uncomfortable  - we aren’t used to showing appreciation so openly, and so it feels forced.  But the more you practice showing appreciation, the more genuine it will feel, and the easier it will become.”  She was completely right: by the end of the workshop, we were lavishing appreciations on one another and truly meant the things we said.  Since that moment, I’ve been a huge believer in creating moments for students to show gratitude and appreciation.
 
Teachers at Dawson feel the same way, and many find ways both in and out of the classroom to help students practice this skill.  In Faye Johnson’s third grade classroom, students often end the day by thanking one another for things they did that day.  Similarly, first graders in Debbie Jenkins’s class take time at the end of the day at least once a week to publicly thank classmates for things they did that made the class feel like a team.
 
In fourth grade, teachers Kim Haines, Kristen Medler, and Megan Rogers have introduced gratitude journals.  Students have written in them every few weeks since the start of the year with the understanding that their writing is private.  Students are given prompts (for instance, “Share something you are grateful for about your family” or “Share something you are grateful about from this morning”).  These practices give students time to reflect privately on the gratitude they feel.  Additionally, they have talked frequently about kindness, discussing kindnesses they have seen and reflecting on how grateful they are for these kindnesses.
 
In fifth grade, Brenda Lord and Courtney Klein do a “gratitude circle” with their students.  They sit with students in a circle and give them the opportunity to share about someone or something for which they feel grateful. 
 
In Passageways classes in sixth, seventh, and eighth grade, Peter Devlin, Christal McDougall, and Diane Yelvington, guide students through an appreciation council.  For this activity, students spoke first about what they were grateful for in their lives.  They were then each given a card with another student’s name on it, and they spoke to their assigned people, telling them two or three things they appreciated about them.
 
We do a similar activity throughout the Middle School each year. You may have noticed our Appreciation Tree on the wall from last year.  All students and faculty members have leaves or pieces of fruit with their names on them (one per leaf or fruit).  During an advisory period, students worked together to write what they appreciated about each member of the community, and we then collected them all and created the tree.  I love watching students linger at the tree to read what others have written about them and about others.
 
I know there are many more examples of faculty helping students learn how to feel and show gratitude, so our oxytocin levels must be through the roof!  I’m going to join in the fun by saying how grateful I am to work with faculty who care so much about educating our kids to be not only successful academically but also to be good people who want to make a difference.  And I am grateful that we have such fantastic students who amaze me every day with their wisdom and compassion.  And finally, I am grateful for all of you who entrust your children to us each day and who work with us to help our students grow.
 
If you’d like to read more about gratitude, here are the links to some interesting articles:
 
 
 
Have a wonderful week!
 
Take care,
Heather
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