Dealing with Challenge

Hello Everyone,

 

Happy New Year! I hope you had a restful and rejuvenating break with your families and are excited for the new year.  I always find the second semester flies by and it is summer before we know it.  Keep that in mind when we hit freezing temperatures!

 

I had an eventful break, traveling on two separate trips to spend the holidays with family, and closing out the year with a literal bang (or more like a pop) when I blew my knee out skiing on December 31.  I’ve never had an injury requiring crutches (the only broken bone I’ve had is a finger in sixth grade, and other injuries have never been much more than a strain or sprain).  So, getting used to wearing a huge brace and hobbling around on crutches has been interesting. Small things that I normally take for granted are now viewed as luxuries. 

 

For instance, the other day I was able to make breakfast, hopping around my kitchen somewhat effectively, and I was feeling rather proud of myself.  But then once I had my plate of eggs and my mug of hot coffee, I realized I didn’t have any way to carry them to the table to eat. So I stood at the counter in my kitchen and wolfed down my food before carrying on with the rest of the day. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked.

 

I’ve come across multiple situations like this in just a few days.  Walking across campus in the snow, carrying my computer bag, opening classroom doors for a visit – all of these things that I normally don’t think about have now become challenges.

 

I’ve been thinking about how frustrating it is to feel helpless in these situations, and I’ve also been thinking that our students often go through similar feelings at school – feeling helpless when they don’t understand a homework problem or when they encounter a difficult social situation.  Just being a kid trying to figure things out each day can be overwhelming and probably often feels frustrating in a similar way to how I have been feeling with this injury. I’ve ruminated on possible responses to how I’ve been feeling. I could get upset or angry, both with myself for not being more careful and with the situation in general (or perhaps with my older brother, who often seems to lead me into precarious situations like where I found myself on December 31!). However, the educator in me chooses instead to examine this experience and glean some newfound wisdom from it all.  In a short amount of time, I feel like I have learned some valuable lessons (and, given that I just discovered I will need surgery, I’m sure many more are to follow…).

 

First, I truly recognize the value and importance of patience.  Everything takes longer when you are moving on crutches, and it’s easy to become upset, but if I remind myself that this is my new reality, at least for now, I can try to enjoy the more leisurely pace that I now need to use.  Having practiced mindfulness fairly regularly over the last couple of years has helped me tremendously with this notion of finding the benefits of taking time rather than rushing from one thing to the next.  This injury forces me to do that, and so I’m embracing it.

 

Second, I’ve learned that strategizing is critical.  It’s much harder to fly by the seat of your pants when everything takes longer (see above) and is more complicated.  I find I really need to plan several steps ahead.  If I forget something, I can’t just run back to my house or across campus, so I find myself making more lists and planning ahead.

 

Finally, the hardest thing to learn for me has been the importance of knowing when to ask for help.  While there’s definitely value in figuring out ways to solve problems on my own, there are times when the best way to solve the problem is to ask someone else for help.  We can be apprehensive about this for fear of appearing foolish, being a burden, or seeming weak.  But knowing how and when to advocate for yourself is actually a strength, not a weakness. When Dawson alumni come back from college, I hear time and again that they feel like they have an advantage over their fellow classmates because they have learned how and when to advocate for themselves.  Because they had such strong relationships with their teachers and knew their teachers cared for them, they felt comfortable seeking assistance when needed, and this comfort translated to new situations.

 

In her book, How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims talks about her time as a Dean at Stanford, when students would arrive on campus ready for their classes but clueless about the real world.   So focused on academics and “rigor” were they that they had no idea how to find their way around campus, do their laundry, or make a basic meal.  And, even worse, they didn’t know where to go for help.  Typically, rather than reaching out to other members of the community, they called home.

 

While it would be tempting still for me to call my mom for help at this time, she wouldn’t be much help from across the country, and the reality is I need to lean on those around me – my family, friends, and colleagues.  And I shouldn’t feel too proud to ask someone to carry my bag or my lunch so I can get on with my day. 

 

The next few weeks and months will, I’m sure, prove to be interesting, and through it all, I’ll remind myself of these lessons and I’ll be patient, I’ll strategize, and, most importantly, I won’t be afraid to ask for help.

 

Have a wonderful weekend!

 

Take care,

Heather